Hold Your Head Up

When we’re on the right path in our lives, we eventually reach a point of comfort — the place where our nerves are no longer set on edge by the day to day grind.  In my own career I’ve paid my dues, weathering many sleepless nights due to pre-shoot jitters and surviving my share moments where I barely escape disaster while on the job.  By constantly practicing my craft – I believe I’m finally seeing my skills as an artist peak – though through much of my career I couldn’t  see my own abilities through a vast fog of self-doubt.  I believed the hallmark of individuality and mastery of craft — style — eluded me.  It’s something I thought I couldn’t have, yet suddenly I see my individual understanding of the people and environments I interact with emerging and taking shape in my work.  This understanding shows itself in a form you could call style.

I owe this breakthrough to what didn’t go right – we are told creativity is born from necessity.  Failed equipment and determination make you find another way to get the job done.  Get out of several difficult situations unscathed and confidence in your work manifests.  I’ve found even when I’m too sick to write my own name I can pull it together long enough to get my job done.  That’s why I know I’m in the right field.  Still, the universe is a whimsical place. After every moment we’re afforded to bask in security an unexpected surprise waits around the corner.  An unwelcome creative impetus shoved from me from my comfort zone not so long ago.

No one is immune from “things just not going right,” and a recent bridal session is a prime example.  I won’t go into details, but things weren’t happening the way they were supposed to –– luckily it was no one’s fault.  The bride was impressively calm.  She’s a kindergarten teacher, there’s no doubt she’s earned her high tolerance for gracefully excepting untimely complications through experience.  Wedding complications can bring down the most optimistic of people, but she didn’t crack.  This is a person who should be rewarded with more than her money’s worth in great images – so few can hold their up head when important things go awry.

We came precariously close to this becoming the one shoot in my career where I didn’t get an image that gave my client something worthy of their individuality.  I admit I was worried. But, among the files the above image stood out.  It’s now a favorite of mine. There is an intensity and wise knowing in her eyes and it’s coupled with softness and understanding that’s becoming on a bride.  Her eyes seem to say  “I am not this hair style, nor this extravagant dress or fine jewelery.  I am more than that.”  A wedding is not a fancy party, it’s a deep commitment.  When I get to work with people who radiate a deep and real understanding of the journey they’re beginning through marriage, I feel extremely fortunate.  This bride is one of those.